Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize