I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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