I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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