If that was your dad, he is hot
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
