Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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