somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We're too hungover to prance.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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