It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
