when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Everclear isn't food dammit
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize