if you like me you must not know who I am
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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