so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
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I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize