You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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