i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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