she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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