Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
