I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
