As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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