the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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