i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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