no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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