You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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