Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize