my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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