The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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