You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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