You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
