After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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