Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize