just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize