Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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