grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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