I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
