The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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