is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize