We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
