i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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