i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
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Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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