I'm drive I can fine osifer
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
