Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
