I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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