so let's talk penis.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Rumble strips road head = magical
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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