Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
barbara walters just said penis...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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