Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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