i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
