I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
