If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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