I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
