Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
