Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
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