you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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