Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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