sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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