Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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