ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
